Help Yourself

Free Your Child's Potential

Martyn Rawson

Free Your Child’s True Potential is a parenting book with a difference. The author believes that instead of superficial recipes telling them how to bring up their children, parents want to understand enough about what is happening to know what to do.

Research over the years has changed the way we understand how children develop, and so our ideas of parenting have been modified. Rawson looks at some of the changes, both good and bad. For example, on the plus side, more men actually want to have an active role in parenting, even of very young children. On the not-so-good side he points out that one in five children suffers from nervous stress and psychological problems requiring treatment.

Pointing out that it is you, the reader, who has to find a way, that you are the one who has to make the decisions, Rawson begins by inviting parents to look at their own attitudes and to remember their own childhood. He examines the parents’ expectations, both of the child and of themselves, and shows how some of these can become a burden.

I like the way he gets to the heart of how we should talk to our children. He is right when he says a parent has no difficulty saying, ‘Don’t touch the cooker, you’ll get a nasty burn,’ but to say, ‘I think you are too young to sleep with David,’ is much harder. The reason, he says, is that you don’t have to persuade your child of the reasoning, but you have to persuade yourself that there are good reasons for the boundaries you set. Parents need to know why they are formulating limits or insisting on certain behaviour or rules.

Take notice of his warning that children are particularly sensitive to the body language of their parents. Children are highly observant, so make sure that any non-verbal signs do not contradict the words you say.

Show your child how he should be by being attentive, calm and honest with yourself. And I like the way that the author continually puts the spotlight back on the parents, instead of on the child.

If you read this book you will learn a lot about parenting, and if you do the ‘exercises’ which Rawson suggests, you will also learn a great deal about yourself.

© Jill Curtis 2002

published by Hodder & Stoughton   price £7.99   ISBN: 0340756438

and available from   

Other books in the Help Yourself series:

come alive

dynamic menopause

ENJOY YOUR TEENAGERS

find your way though divorce

Get Everything Done
Get the Happiness Habit

have a happy and healthy retirement

Make Love Work for You
Make Your Honeymoon Last

stop fighting about money
Weight management and fitness through childbirth

Your kids, my kids