Nothing can prepare us for the delight in becoming a grandparent. However magical it has been to have our own children, there is something very special about our children’s kids. It could be that we enjoy a lot of the fun with them without all the responsibilities, after all, at the end of the day, they do go home.

How different are we as grandparents to the grandparents we remember? They all seemed so old, and I can still have a vivid picture of my grandparents sitting by the fire all day handing out advice and with a ready lap for any of their grandchildren. Counting backwards I find with horror they were probably much younger than I am now!

But there is a sad aspect for many grandparents today. The rise in the number of divorces has meant also an increase in the number of ‘divorced’ grandparents. I know about the heartache of hearing a child say ‘We’re getting a divorce’ and I know about the grief of watching a young family break apart and the effect it has upon the children. One of the reasons my daughter, Virginia, and I wrote Where’s Daddy? together was to try to give other parents and grandparents some forewarning about the kinds of questions children will ask, and advise them how to avoid some of the pitfalls. Divorce hurts. It hurts more than just the couple who split up: the ripples spread far into the extended family and friends. Think of the ever-growing number of grandparents who have ‘lost’ a beloved grandchild because of a divorce, where the parent with custody ‘punishes’ the in-laws too. Think of the band of grandparents who for a number of reasons, may find themselves parenting for a second time around, as they take over the full time care of grandchildren.

There is a great deal of help and support for grandparents on the web today.

© Jill Curtis 2005

To read more about family relationships get Jill’s new book Find Your Way Through Divorce

you can contact Jill on jillcurtis@familyonwards.com