If I'd Only Known ...
Sexual abuse in or out of the family: a
guide to prevention
Dorothy M. Neddermeyer
Most parents are careful to
warn their children about ‘stranger danger’ but how much more
difficult it is to warn children of possible abuse from a member of their
own family. And yet abuse within the family happens, much more often that
we like to believe. It is one thing to believe that children are at risk
from a scruffy man in a mac, but quite another to think that a beloved
parent, grandparent, uncle or aunt may behave in a way which is wholly
inappropriate and damaging for a child. An alarming statistic quoted is
that 80% of the children who are abused are maltreated by a family member.
The author urges that
techniques of self-protection in their simplest form should taught from
the age of two or two-and-a-half and that all concepts of self-protection
are taught, practised and reinforced continuously throughout childhood.
Parents should give instructions such as ‘Your body is yours’ and ‘No
one can touch your body is you do not like it’ and they should be
precise about who they mean when they say ‘no one’ - mummy, daddy,
grandma, grandpa, teachers, friends’ parents, etc, etc. Teach your child
to say ‘Stop’ in a firm voice if anyone touches them in a way which
makes them feel uncomfortable. A ‘no secrets’ rule is a safeguard too,
as perpetrators cannot continue abuse with a child unless secrecy
prevails.
To protect your child from
sexual abuse you need to know 1. What sexual abuse or incest is 2.What to
do about it and 3. How to teach your child self-protection. So read this
book - it is practical and full of guidelines. It is often uncomfortable
to read as there are examples of how the betrayal profoundly affects a
child’s sense of trust and how the long-term damage of sexual abuse and
incest has an impact on every aspect of human development. But it will
help to ‘abuse-proof’ your child, and it gives profiles of
perpetrators with a checklist for identifying them.
published by Millennial Mind Publishing
$19.95 ISBN: 1930586167
available
from
Review
published 25 September 2002 © Jill
Curtis 2002
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