I am fascinated to learn how many different names children have for their grandparents.

From a quick poll among friends, colleagues and Internet contacts one thing quickly became apparent: now that men and women live longer names have to be found not only for grandparents (on both sides) but fairly often for great-grandparents too. If you have to add to this the possibility of a step-grandparent or two then it becomes clearer why a child needs to find a variety of names to distinguish between them all.

It was so interesting to discover what families, and the children, come up with. Naturally, the most used are the traditional ‘grandma’, ‘grandpa’, ‘granny’ and ‘granddad’ but after that we enter the realm of creative thought. I noted that I did not find a single ‘grandmother’ or ‘grandfather’. Perhaps this is too formal for the kids of today.

But I did encounter ‘Granny-Putney’ ‘Grandpa- train’ ‘Grandma-with-a-stick’ and - believing that children do see the Emperor without his clothes - I found a ‘Grumps’ and even a ‘Groany’.

Today when few adults call their in-laws ‘mum’ or ‘dad’ but use their first names, the same tendency was reflected by the children, calling their grandparents by titles incorporating their first name, for example, ‘Grandma-May’ or ‘Grandpa-Jim’.

An interesting insight into tradition was the way many grandparents were called by the name they themselves used as children for their own grandparents - and so I found ‘Babushkas’, ‘Babcias’, and ‘Oma’s’. This seemed to be to be a delightful way of reminding the young about their roots and history, as well as giving the older generation a link with their past. I found some Scandinavian languages distinguish the difference between ‘mothers mother’ and ‘fathers mother’ which seems a very helpful and sensible differentiation.

Lastly I found there were grandparents who resist being known as such even by their grandchildren. So they are called by their first name, or a derivative, and to my horror I found a ‘Bubbles’ and a ‘Millie-Molly’. Both of these women felt that in their forties they were too young to take on the mantle of the title of grandparent.

Anyone who has read any of my earlier articles knows I have a strong sense of family. For me the name ‘Grandma’ felt right from the start, and I like the way it bestows on me an acknowledgement of a right of passage. I love being ‘Grandma’ to seven children, but I do know that at the end of the day it doesn’t matter what anyone is called, so long as the warmth and love and joy is there. And I didn’t meet one grandparent who argued with me over that!

© Jill Curtis 2001