How to Say It to Your Kids

The right words to solve problems, soothe feelings and teach values

Dr Paul Coleman

All parents, if they are honest, admit that there are times when they are lost for words when talking to their children. How often have we found ourselves, as parents, hearing words coming out of our mouths that we swore we would never say to our kids? Sometimes we can even hear our own mother’s or father’s voice saying the very words that made us, as children, cringe.

How to Say it to Your Kids helps you find the right words to have a discussion with your child. Reading this book will help you to say not only the right things, but to say them in a better way and at the correct time. Dr Paul Coleman, a family therapist, also gives advice on ‘how not to say it.’

You may not always agree with Dr Coleman but he will make you stop and consider the things you say to your child and the way that you say them. He is not afraid to look at topics which many parents find difficult, so if you need to be prepared to talk about death (perhaps to a dying child), divorce, sex, lying, religion and many other subjects you can prepare yourself in advance with his advice. Dr Coleman can help you to avoid many pitfalls: some of them may seem obvious when you read his suggestions, but nevertheless they may well have been the very ones you would have fallen into. This book could be a lifesaver for a parent who feels he is drowning in a sea of defiant, whining or bossy behavior from his child.

I handed over my review copy to Joanna Hardman, a well-known speech therapist with three children of her own under eight. I asked her to ‘road test’ this book and this is what she says.

‘This is an excellent book to dip in and out of which provides positive strategies for everyday talks with your kids. A mother in the UK needs to see past the Americanisms but there is a lot to take on board to improve your communication with your children. It is a well-organized book under comprehensive topics. But, a word of advice: don’t try to read it from cover to cover in one go, or you will begin to feel you have never ever said anything in the right way to your children!.’

© Jill Curtis 2002

Prentice Hall Press    $14.00 and    £9.99

and is available from   and  from    

ISBN  0735201773