The Terrible
Teens
what every
parent needs to know
Kate
Figes
It is no secret that
adolescence is a time of change - not only for the boy or girl who has to
cope with the task of moving from dependency to independence, but also for
the parents.
Couples who may have been
prepared for their infant to develop into a child are often caught out
with the sea-change with comes with the transition from childhood to
adolescence.
The more we - as parents and
grandparents - can understand what adolescence is and see the
pressures and difficulties which face young people today the easier it is
for us to help them through these years. The author reminds us too, that
‘where adolescents seriously go off the rails, this tends to be because
of problems that were present way before puberty.’ Also, where there are
clashes and disagreements at home it is almost always because of
misunderstandings between the generations.
Figes urges parents not to
stop talking to their teenagers ‘even if they have stopped talking to
you,’ and reminds parents they have the maturity to do this! Don’t
blame everything on hormones either, since it is a combination of body
changes and the changing mind which causes teenagers grief. Keep an
eye on your adolescent, and don’t dismiss problems such as depression as
‘just being moody’. Depression is a serious condition which can
develop into a downward spiral to drugs, self-harm or even suicide.
Adolescents need affirmation and to be told they are loved (just as we did
when they were younger) and they need to be praised for the talents,
strengths and inner qualities that are particular to them..
I don’t remember being such
a troubled teenager as the ones described in this book, nor do I recall my
own children being especially difficult, but at the end of the day
anything we can do to help our kids at this time in their lives, in this
fast-changing world, has to be beneficial.
I admire the way that the
author is frank about her own difficult teenage years. She tells us that
the divorce of her parents when she was five-years-old left its mark, and
the resulting lack of self-worth affected her whole adolescence.
Parents take heart, for
according to Figes eighty percent of all adolescents ‘ride out the storm
successfully and remain close and friendly throughout.’ This book is a
good buy for parents.
© Jill Curtis
2002
Penuin/Viking
£9.99  $24.99
ISBN 0670884049
Available from 
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